Warning: Sexual Explicite Material.. but funny all the same!

Sometimes.. Okay, often, I peruse the personal ads on kijiji just because they make me laugh hysterically.. and I’m ridiculously immature about sexuality.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to meet a stranger and get them to clean your house? Maybe in a tutu? Strange.
I’m curious as to what they look like. Stupid sounding, I know. I have been so close to reply with a quick, “hey baby. I’m 45, red hair, blue eyes, meet me at this coffee shop, I’ll be playing with a slinky.”
The only reason I haven’t done this:
1. Golden rule.
2. I’m scared.
3. I need a better hobby and I know this.
I just find this little kijiji area endlessly hilarious. I’m always giggling away in my office corner while my boyfriend groans with a, “ugh, kijiji again? God, you are weird.”
..and sometimes, when I need a really GOOD laugh? I re-write it in my mind to make it even more condescending and ridiculous.
Warning: Sexually explicit material.
Hi ladies I am a good looking 45 year old male , well endowed  and I wish to serve you in any way you wish. Do you need someone like me to do chores around the house ? or maybe dress up in a small outfit and entertain your friends ? Whatever you wish let me know .. first come first served !!
I am wanting to share the opportunity of being with two younger ladies. My time here is limited ( health issue ) and every man has this same fantasy. I do not want you feeling sorry for me or nothing like that. I simply want to fullfill a fantasy. I am white, 46, 6′ tall, 175 lbs. Also….I am married but I just need to do this. Please let me know.
Looking for a “golden shower”, that is correct, hover over me and let go. Clean and discreet male here , late forty, slim and discreet, safe to be with. Please give it a try.

We met at a party. You were with your husband. We chatted briefly. You were wearing black. Would like to know is there something there?

I met a fireman that was in Thunder Bay for a “Mock Disaster”, he is from Burlington, about 5ft 5in, was a hockey player and was also involved in the rescue diving.  We met at a bar called Scuttlebutts, I was the nurse with the “nice arms”.  I wish that I would have at least got his email so that we could keep in touch.  If you know this hot, young, fireman please feel free to bring this add to his attention.
Advertisements